Emotion vs. Feeling
What is an Emotion?
An emotion is a reaction to a circumstance, event, or thought in our mind and body. Emotions are responses to thoughts about a particular circumstance, event, or thought.
Our thoughts produce specific physiological changes, such as increased heart rate, sweating, or muscle tension. These are the emotions we are experiencing or feeling. Emotions like fear, sadness, hate, and love may all feel differently in our bodies.
What is the Difference Between an Emotion and a Feeling?
The cause is the main difference between an emotion and a feeling. While conscious or unconscious thinking causes an emotion in response to an event or circumstance, a feeling is a physical reaction to an external condition.
Physical feelings refer to sensations like hunger, thirst, pain, discomfort, or fatigue. They are often objective, meaning they can be observed or measured and are not necessarily linked to emotions.
For this article, feelings and emotions are synonymously used and refer to emotions caused by our thinking, not physical sensations. Here is a short list of common everyday emotions.
Anger
Confidence
Determined
Discouraged
Embarrassed
Excited
Frustrated
Fearful
Joyful
Optimistic
Overwhelmed
Sadness
Stressed
Click here for a more extensive list of emotions.
How Does an Emotion Feel?
Remember, emotions caused by our thinking create a physical response in our bodies. Take a moment to read through the list, pause on each word, and see how your body reacts. Really. Try it just for a moment or two.
For example, imagine how it would feel to be discouraged. Do your shoulders and head drop? Do you feel a drop in your energy?
How about anger? What do you imagine feeling when you're angry? Your heart and mind would be racing. You may feel like you will explode and need to release the energy physically or verbally.
How would you feel if you were confident? Would you hold your chin up and your shoulders back and move purposefully throughout your day?
How To Manage Your Emotions
Our emotions are not something to be managed. The goal is not to always feel happy and to eliminate negative emotions. When someone we love dies, we want to feel grief. When our child is sick, we want to feel worried. These are appropriate emotions for the circumstance.
The key is creating awareness around our emotions and deciding how we want to feel about a particular circumstance.
You Hurt My Feelings
Our emotions don't just happen to us; we create them with our thinking. No person or situation makes us feel anything. Instead, we think based on our interpretation of a situation or event, which creates our feelings.
For example, you may feel hurt if your partner forgets your anniversary or birthday. However, the circumstance of them not remembering does not cause your feelings to be hurt. Thoughts like "They don't care about me" or "I'm not important to them" may cause you to experience the emotion of hurt.
On the other hand, you could think, "They have a lot on their mind," or "They must have forgotten." These thoughts generate feelings of curiosity and compassion rather than hurt. It does not reflect how they think of you; they simply forgot. The same situation creates different feelings, showing that your thought creates your feeling, not the event (or non-event).
Feelings Are Our Fuel
Our emotions are the reason we do the things we do. How we feel results in both wanted and unwanted actions. From the above example, what do you imagine we would do from the feeling of hurt? We would sulk, give the silent treatment, get angry, or lash out. These actions are fueled by our hurt feelings, not the actual event of our partner forgetting our birthday.
In the same example, what do you imagine we would do out of curiosity or compassion? We would check in with our partners and see what's happening for them. We would not make it a big deal and suggest a way to celebrate.
Understanding that we create our emotions with our thinking can take time. But test the idea. When experiencing a feeling, any emotion wanted or unwanted, ask yourself, "What am I thinking?"
We can't change the world or what others think and do. However, we can decide how we want to feel about our world and relationships.
If you are experiencing an emotion you can't understand and need help determining its cause, schedule a free 30-minute coaching session.